Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
