PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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