Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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