you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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