Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
