His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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