Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
