I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
