areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize