i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
