I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
