Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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