Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
