Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
