this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
