Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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