You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
