Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
