Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
