I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
