Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
