i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
