I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
