before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
