Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
