I just made out with a guy for $7.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
