flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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