Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
only you would photoshop your dick
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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