the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
