YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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