I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
