i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
