I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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