U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
