final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
