i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
