I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
