She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
