There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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