butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
