their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
