he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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