Need sex. Gaining weight.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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