i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I need water and some morals
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize