bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
