They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.