Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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(253): View more from Washington

i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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(313): View more from Michigan

you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob

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(678): View more from Georgia

Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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(208): View more from Idaho

the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

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(818): View more from California

The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

either way he's in for disappointment

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