did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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