Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
