Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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