i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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