so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This baby is an asshole
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
