Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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