The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
