you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Please don't give away my fajitas
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
