WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
