The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
