you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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