if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So vagazzling was a success
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
