Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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