you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
