So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize