Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
