i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
