guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
