I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
