he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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