I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize