can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
